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Maturity

Maturity in its simplest form is the ability to cope. When I was using alcohol to ease the pain of everyday life because I did not know what else I could do with it. I did not know how to cope with that incessant nagging that told me I did not measure up. I did not even know what it was that I should measure up to. I was 51 years old and I never seemed to argue for anything, I argued against something. Even then I somehow knew that I did not know much. That 51st year I picked up the AA bible called the Big Book. For the first time in many decades I got a feeling of joy. I was being offered a new start.

There were no past accomplishments worth saving, no sense of personal pride or any consideration of past dishonor brought upon my family that would get in my way of this offer. My life, as the Big Book put it, was “unmanageable” and that was the bottom line. I had reached the bottom line of my existence. I became willing to put my life in the hands of AA. I had faced the fact that I could no longer cope. What a mess!

AA people like to think that no one else knows the depths to which they have descended but that’s not so. Millions are dealing with just this sort of desperation every day without realizing it because they have never been offered an alternative. One often hears members of AA say “I’m glad I’m an alcoholic.” That used to bother me but now I understand what they mean. AA gave them an awareness of the problem that alcohol was causing in their lives, finally gave them something to focus on besides the emptiness. They would never have found this place without the presence of a ready-made system suited to their specific problem. I was ignorant of the prevailing circumstances. This situation come in thousands of shapes and sizes for which there are hundreds of programs built on “AA’s Twelve Steps” model adapted to address these sorts of problems. Combined with common sense it is a method of mentoring in itself. This system of Emotional Balance (EB) is another way of interpreting that emptiness within. To me the Steps is the clearest blueprint I have found to reaching full maturity – no matter the root of the problem.

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